Borderline (The Arcadia Project, #1) by Mishell Baker

Narrated by Arden Hammersmith

Synopsis (via Goodreads): A year ago, Millie lost her legs and her filmmaking career in a failed suicide attempt. Just when she's sure the credits have rolled on her life story, she gets a second chance with the Arcadia Project: a secret organization that polices the traffic to and from a parallel reality filled with creatures straight out of myth and fairy tales.

For her first assignment, Millie is tasked with tracking down a missing movie star who also happens to be a nobleman of the Seelie Court. To find him, she'll have to smooth-talk Hollywood power players and uncover the surreal and sometimes terrifying truth behind the glamour of Tinseltown. But stronger forces than just her inner demons are sabotaging her progress, and if she fails to unravel the conspiracy behind the noble's disappearance, not only will she be out on the streets, but the shattering of a centuries-old peace could spark an all-out war between worlds. 

“Even if what you said was true, that only makes it worse. Truth should be left in wrapped boxes for people to open when they’re ready. When it’s used as a blade, they vacuum-seal the pain somewhere deep inside, sealing the truth in with it, until it’s time to turn it inside out and cut someone else.”

I started reading this book because I loved the cover and the synopsis, but it really fell flat for me. I didn't get attached to a single character, not even Millie, and felt disconnected from the overall story. People would get hurt or die, and I would just keep reading without feeling much of anything for them. I would be sad that something bad had happened, but I felt like a stranger.

I did enjoy all of the information on Borderline Personality Disorder. It wasn't something I was familiar with, and I'm a big fan of learning new things. Millie sort of narrates her thoughts as a person with BPD. For example, she's having an argument with someone and knows she should apologize and feel compassionate, but her response is angry and self-preserving. It's hard to explain without going deeper into the disorder itself. I will say this book engaged me enough to make me want to research BPD on my own.

I think this story had the potential to be more than it was, but it just wasn't for me. If I hadn't found her condition so interesting, I doubt I would have continued reading the book.

*highlight to view spoiler» The faeries in this story are vapid and uninteresting. I wish the author had explored Arcadia and maybe combined the two worlds, but the fae we see are obnoxious and boring.