My Name Is Venus Black: A Novel by Heather Lloyd

Synopsis (via Goodreads): In this stirring, life-affirming debut novel, a young woman must reconcile her past with its far-reaching consequences on her quest for redemption.

I think about this a lot lately, trying to figure out how I got here. I trace my life back in time, looking for all those places in the past where, if I could change one key detail, I would never have seen what I saw or done what I did that terrible February night.

Venus Black is a straitlaced, straight-A student obsessed with the phenomena of astronomy—until the night she commits a shocking crime that tears her family apart and ignites a media firestorm. Venus refuses to talk about what happened or why, except to blame her mother. Adding to the mystery, Venus’s developmentally challenged younger brother, Leo, suddenly goes missing.

Five years later, Venus emerges from prison with a suitcase of used clothes, a fake identity, and a determination to escape her painful past. Estranged from her mother, and with her brother still missing, she sets out to make a fresh start, skittish and alone. But as new people enter her orbit—including a romantic interest and a young girl who seems like a mirror image of her former lost self—old wounds resurface, and Venus realizes that she can’t find a future while she’s running from her past. 

"If you ask me, we’re all born by accident and there’s no such thing as God. We travel through this life with no real trajectory, ricocheted here and there by the consequences of other people’s actions. And it works both ways, of course. The stupidest little thing we do can alter the future for so many people."

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Also, the quotes I used may have changed or been altered in some way, but I am quoting from what I received.

My Name Is Venus Black made me feel a lot of things. I thought I knew what to expect when I started this, but I was wrong. I was pleasantly surprised with the story and how beautifully it was portrayed. I was also heartbroken and insane with uncertainty on more than one occasion.

The beginning is hard to read, because you have no idea what's going on. The author keeps the specifics to herself, and slowly lets things slip as the story progresses. You have to very patient with this book, because nothing is rushed. It was painful at times, especially when her brother goes missing and years pass before the story continues. 

The writing was phenomenal! I loved the way the author spoke through the characters.

"That’s another thing that got me here. Nothing is as it appears. It’s like that with space. Objects that look round might not be, and stars that look close to each other might be billions of miles apart. And it’s the same with people. Only instead of standing too far away to see the truth, you’re probably standing too close."

I can't say I would have done things the same way Venus did, but I can see why she made certain decisions. Her mother was...ugh. I really wish she had done more for her children. We get an idea of what her mindset was like, but I still don't agree with her reasoning. She seemed disconnected.

I really enjoyed the parts that are told through Leo's perspective. He's developmentally challenged, and I think the author did a great job conveying his thoughts. I can't imagine that is an easy thing to do, but I felt like I understood a lot about Leo. It was fascinating to see how he viewed what was happening around him, his choices for dealing with what happened, and other things that occur later on.

I also like that this book brings attention to how hard it is for someone being released from prison. They've served their sentence, but the world doesn't make it easy for them once they get out. It's a constant battle for them to try and make something with their lives, especially when they've been kept away from the world they are now expected to live in.

My heart was so torn while I read this. I felt conflicted about my feelings and how I wanted the story to end. I didn't agree with a lot that happened (and I think it's great when an author can help me perceive viewpoints so different from my own), but I can also understand why certain choices were made in the moment. It all comes back to the first quote, and how one small thing can alter the future for so many other people.