DNF&Y [17]

DNF&Y is used to explain why I gave up on certain books, and what about them just didn't work for me. What I disliked about a book might be something you love, so it helps to share your thoughts even when they're negative! If you would like additional information, please click on the DNF&Y tab at the top. If you want to join, you can link up at the bottom!

Waiting for Tom Hanks by Kerry Winfrey

Synopsis (via Goodreads): Can a romcom-obssessed romantic finally experience the meet-cute she always dreamed of or will reality never compare to fiction, in this charming debut adult novel from Kerry Winfrey.

Annie is twenty-seven years old, single, and obsessed with romantic comedies (she and her mother watched them religiously, before her mom died). Her dating life is limited by the expectations she’s formed from these movies. She is not as open to new experiences as she might be, because she’s waiting for her Tom Hanks–i.e., a guy she’ll find in the perfect, meet-cute romantic comedy way. When Annie does finally meet her perfect match, it’s not quite in the way she expected, and she’s forced to reckon with the walls she’s built around herself over the years.

DNF at 25%

I received a review copy from Penguin's First To Read program in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

Annie was hard to like. She's constantly making movie comparisons, which was cute at first, but quickly got on my nerves. I didn't mind the occasional reference, but everything reminded her of a rom-com. I lost count of how many times she compared Chloe and Nick's relationship (or lack of a relationship), to the beginning of a romantic comedy. 

We meet Drew when she literally walks into him, but she doesn't stick around long enough to form an opinion. However, after further interactions between the two, and some Googling on her part, she makes crazy assumptions about him and his life (because tabloids are reliable sources of information). Drew is teasing, playful, and sarcastic, but Annie thinks he's making fun of her and belittling her life. "Maybe all of the cute guys are actually big jerks who make fun of your job and your city and your totally normal romantic comedy obsession." Drew didn't do any of that, so her animosity towards him was annoying and unfounded. 

At one point he says something about her being beautiful (it was an offhanded comment in a larger conversation), and she's completely convinced he said it to make fun of her. "And also because Drew has made it abundantly clear that he thinks I'm mostly mockable, certainly not someone to flirt with." He said he was sitting with a beautiful woman, and she blows everything out of proportion. I honestly don't think it even registered to him, because he was just stating what he thought. He also doesn't mock her, but playfully calls her Coffee Girl, which could be due to a number of reasons (she spilled coffee on him, she's always in a coffee shop, and she gets coffee for her boss). 

Annie frequently made bizarre assumptions and had unrealistic expectations. Drew was never mean to her, and even watched the movies she recommended, but she still disliked him from the start. She practically bit his head off when he tried to talk to her about one of the movies. He questioned how realistic something was, and she lost her shit. Honestly, I'm pretty sure she formed an opinion about him before they ever met, which was unfair to him and stupid of her. 

Waiting for Tom Hanks was also repetitive, which only added to my disinterest in the story. It didn't help that Annie is twenty-seven and acts like a teenager. Her uncle does something incredibly awesome for her, yet she's embarrassed by his presence. She thinks Drew is going to use whatever he says against her, which was just so ugh. He was simply having a conversation with his boss and her uncle, but she thinks everything is about her. She tries to get her uncle to leave (by asking him if he needs to get to work), which was totally unfair to him, and very unprofessional of her. Needless to say, this one didn't work for me.

⳼

I Dream of Spiders by Elle Keating

Synopsis (via Goodreads): The move to the remote town of Quarry Hill, Pennsylvania was supposed to help Griffin McGuire start over and forget the two people who betrayed him. As a paramedic at the local hospital, he would still have to interact with people, but the rest of the time he could hole himself away in the secluded cabin he was renting. It was perfect. For the first time in over a year, he felt like he could finally breathe.

That was until he met her.

A woman who doesn’t know her own name or why she was covered in blood and standing in the middle of the road when he found her. Griffin knows he should contact the police, but something is preventing him from going to the authorities. It doesn’t take long for him to realize that he was correct in trusting his instincts. Every time she falls asleep, she dreams and another memory is unlocked. Memories that are horrific and make him want to protect and hide her from the world.

DNF at 12%

I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

I Dream of Spiders was too unbelievable for me. She wakes up with no memories and very serious injuries, and one of her first thoughts is how attractive someone is. "Even through the fuzziness and the mind-numbing pain, I know this man isn’t just handsome, but stunning." A random guy's appearance should have been the furthest thing from her mind. 

Also, Griffin was a creeper. He takes her home after their secret visit to the hospital, because she doesn't want him to involve the police. He doesn't know why, she doesn't know why, but the man trusts his gut. More often than not, Griffin's gut alters the direction of the story. Ah, but it gets worse. He helps her take a shower, thinking she's coherent enough to agree, but she doesn't remember anything about it. She was also super unstable in the shower, and his sole focus should have been on helping her. Instead, he has to make a comment about his dick. 

"With her back to me I was able to keep it together, making sure my focus was on cleaning her soiled skin and matted hair; that was until I turned her in my arms. With her eyes half-shut she stumbled, causing her full tits to mash against my soaked through t-shirt. I felt her nipples pebble as I steadied her. My cock twitched, which surprised the shit out of me since there hasn’t been any movement down there in over a year."

Nope. One, she doesn't remember what happened (the night he found her or the shower). She's vulnerable and has injuries she cannot explain, and she's also terrified of the police for some reason. Griffin should have kept his hands to himself, or at least waited until she could shower on her own. Even if she really needed a bath, he could have kept his manbits under control and kept his thoughts from wandering. They shouldn't have been thoughts in the first place!

I was somewhat curious about the girl's past and what brought her to a dark road in the middle of nowhere, but these two characters were just too much ugh.

⳼

Hazel and Holly by Sara C. Snider

Synopsis (via Goodreads): Nestled within an enchanted forest is the Grove, a community where witches and warlocks practice elemental magic, brew mystical potions, and lock their cellars against beer thieving gnomes. Life is quiet and uneventful. Well, except when Hazel's long-lost father uses necromancy to trap her dead mother's soul.

That simply won't do. Necromancy is forbidden in the Grove, and for good reason too. Nobody wants filthy corpses shambling around, mussing up one's garden. Hazel is determined to find her father and undo his treachery.

But despite Hazel's plans of becoming a one-woman army, she can't do everything alone. It's not until wild sister Holly convinces her to leave the house for once and go to a party that Hazel finds a pair of unlikely allies in two bickering warlock brothers.

Together, the four of them go on a journey that takes them out of the Grove and into a world where necromancy reigns and the dead won't respectfully stay in the grave. Hazel will do whatever it takes to stop her father and save her mother's soul. Even if it means turning to necromancy. Even if it means losing her friends. Because they would never help a necromancer. Would they?

DNF at 11%

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

Firstly, the characters speak and act like they should be in a middle grade novel. I was surprised when Hazel mentioned she was twenty-three and her sister, Holly, was seventeen. Neither one of them acted their age, and it really affected the overall story. 

Secondly, the perspective was weird. The first chapter mentions someone named Willow, and it took me a few paragraphs to determine that it was Hazel and Holly's mother. A few more context clues would have been helpful, but it also didn't feel right for their mother to be referred to by her first name while she was speaking with Hazel. They didn't call her Willow, it was just the story's point of view. Her conversation with Hazel also didn't feel like a mother talking to her daughter. It was like they were acquaintances having a disagreement over where to go for dinner, not a daughter wanting to save her mother from a hellish situation.

Thirdly, Hazel is trapped in a cellar with a single door and no keyhole. A gnome is there when she wakes up, searching her pockets, and she watches his lantern disappear as he leaves. How did he leave? It seems unlikely that he squeezed himself through the crack underneath the door, and Hazel didn't mention the squeaking of hinges, or the air of a door opening and closing. How was he able to get in and out of her room? Also, if he could do it magically, why did he need her help to escape?

You would really have to suspend belief to make this book work. I'm always a little more understanding when magic is involved, but it still needs to be explained in some way. The author needs to make me believe whatever she's selling. 

Also, the characters were unlikable and forgettable. As I mentioned before, neither of them acted their age, and both made really ridiculous decisions. Holly is seventeen and falls in love with a man in his thirties after one meeting (she seriously questions why he doesn't show more interest in her), even after he lies to the guests at his party and watches them fight over his attention. Speaking of the party, why were they trying to tear each other to shreds over him? They're all witches, but only Hazel seems unaffected by his charm and glamour. His servant or butler rang a bell and suddenly everyone was accommodating again, but why? Nothing made sense! It was preposterous. 

The transitions between chapters were abrupt and confusing, and the dialogue was definitely more suited to a younger audience. Everything about this book was frustrating, and I still have no idea what was going on or why.

⳼

Everybody Sees the Ants by A.S. King

Narrated by Kirby Heyborne

Synopsis (via Goodreads): Lucky Linderman didn't ask for his life. He didn't ask his grandfather not to come home from the Vietnam War. He didn't ask for a father who never got over it. He didn't ask for a mother who keeps pretending their dysfunctional family is fine. And he didn't ask to be the target of Nader McMillan's relentless bullying, which has finally gone too far.

But Lucky has a secret--one that helps him wade through the daily mundane torture of his life. In his dreams, Lucky escapes to the war-ridden jungles of Laos--the prison his grandfather couldn't escape--where Lucky can be a real man, an adventurer, and a hero. It's dangerous and wild, and it's a place where his life just might be worth living. But how long can Lucky keep hiding in his dreams before reality forces its way inside?

Michael L. Printz Honor recipient A.S. King's smart, funny and boldly original writing shines in this powerful novel about learning to cope with the shrapnel life throws at you and taking a stand against it.

DNF at 7%

There wasn't anything wrong with this one, it just wasn't my cup of tea. I like books with a quicker pace, and Everybody Sees the Ants was a very detailed and thorough read (would spend forever in one place). I also had a hard time connecting with Lucky, and I think it's because I couldn't relate to his experiences. His parents were frustrating and I hate that they didn't do more for their son. He was being bullied, told them about it, and they chose to ignore the problem. The story felt authentic and I liked the concept, but it wasn't a book I looked forward to picking back up again.

At the beginning of the book, everyone thinks Lucky is suicidal just because he jokes about it, and I wanted to see where that thread would lead. However, the book jumps to six months later, and that aspect of the story wasn't addressed again (at least not during what I read). I would suggest reading this if you enjoy character-driven books with a slower pace (even the flashbacks seemed to last forever), and don't mind uninvolved parents.

⳼

Star-Crossed by Minnie Darke

Synopsis (via Goodreads): A highly adorable and addictive love story about one woman who gives destiny a little push.

When childhood sweethearts Justine (Sagittarius and serious skeptic) and Nick (Aquarius and true believer) randomly bump into each other as adults, a life-changing love affair seems inevitable. To Justine anyway. True, she hasn't seen Nick in thirteen years, one month and three weeks, but who's counting? She's pined after him all the same, and now that Nick lives in the same town, a struggling actor to her struggling magazine reporter, he'll surely realize his own unchanged feelings, take the reins and jump at the chance to rekindle their relationship. Right? Well, no. Nick, she learns, is an astrological devotee, and his decision-making, romantic and professional, is guided solely by the infallible horoscopes in his favourite magazine. The magazine Justine happens to work at. Perhaps the stars' guiding forces could use a little journalistic reimagining?

It's only a few tweaks to the Aquarius column, just a little push to get him to realize they're meant for one another. It's nonsense in the first place, what could possibly happen? Aquarians everywhere are about to find out, when the doctored horoscopes, ostensibly published to steer Nick and Nick alone, end up reverberating in the lives of the column's devoted readers, showing the ripple effects of what can happen when one woman takes the horoscopes, and Fate itself, into her own hands.

Spanning exactly one year, as the earth moves through all twelve stars signs, Star-Crossed is a delicious, intelligent and affecting love story about fate, chance and how we all navigate the kinds of choices that are hard to face alone.

DNF at 11%

I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

I was really looking forward to this one, so I was disappointed when it didn't work for me. Short version: Star-Crossed started off at a snail's pace and the story was uninteresting.

Both the perspective and the characters were hard to like, and they made very childish decisions for people in their late twenties. She didn't ask for his number, because she knew she was impulsive and would call him. He didn't call or text her, because she didn't ask for his number, and because he didn't think he could compose a message worthy of her intellect. Their reasons for not speaking to each other, even though that's what they both wanted, were ridiculous.

⳼

The Afterwards by A.F. Harrold, Emily Gravett

Synopsis (via Goodreads): From the acclaimed team behind The Imaginary comes another powerful, poignant, and darkly fantastical story about friendship, perfect for fans of Neil Gaiman and Roald Dahl.

Ember and Ness are best friends, completely inseparable. Ember can't imagine what life would be without Ness. Until Ness dies, in a most sudden and unexpected way. Ember feels completely empty. How can this even be real?

Then Ember finds a way into the afterworld-a place where the recently dead reside. She knows there must be a way to bring Ness back, so she decides to find it. Because that's what friends do: rescue each other. But the afterworld holds its own dangers. How far will Ember go to make things the way they were again?

Paired with enchanting illustrations from Emily Gravett, A. F. Harrold's powerfully woven tale explores the lengths we go to for the people we love.

DNF at 34%

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

The Afterwards was super disturbing, and definitely not a book I want my children to read. First of all, their names were a little confusing (December and Happiness/Ember and Ness), but that was easy to overlook. I can appreciate when an author tries to be unique and original with words. However, I wish the characters had mentioned why they were given those names.

I didn't get very far into this one, so I can't comment on the book as whole, but I disliked how the characters were portrayed at the start. Her friend dies, and she receives the news from the principal at her school. I thought the information was delivered in strange way, with all the kids sitting on the floor in front of him. Wouldn't you assemble a large group of children in a gym or auditorium? It also felt impersonal and careless, even though the characters were emotional. 

After the death of her friend, Ember is approached by an uncle that she doesn't see very often, and he tells her that she's supposed to come with him because her father is busy with his girlfriend. Red flag! Red flag! Ember knew this was an odd request, because her father always tells her when his plans change, so she should have asked to go back inside the school and call him. She should not have left with him just because they were related.

Her uncle was super shady about the details, and very vague when she asked him questions, yet she was willing to follow him in circles despite knowing it wasn't the way to her house. Also, what he did was unforgiveable. She should have said something to someone when it was over, but she chooses not to so she can question him on her own. The guy essentially kidnaps her, and she doesn't tell her father? She didn't have to tell him the unbelievable aspects of what happened to her (her visit to the afterlife or whatever), but she could have told him that her uncle picked her up from school and abandoned her somewhere unfamiliar. 

If your child has lost a friend or loved one, please keep them away from this book. The Afterwards will likely terrify them, and make them worry about their own deaths. When Ember finds her friend in the gray place (for lack of a better term), she was alone, confused, and scared. I don't want my children to worry about what's going to happen to them when they die (not at this age), and to even consider the possibility of it looking anything like what's described in this book.

Oh, and there's a talking cat that wasn't explained. Shouldn't she have been more concerned with that? Ember also knows she isn't dead, but she's in a dead place, and she actually wants to stay. Kudos for friendship, but she's also a child and should have been more afraid. Why doesn't she want to live? I'm seriously having a hard time wrapping my head around this one, and cannot think of a single positive aspect to end this review with.

⳼

I Spy the Boy Next Door 

by Samantha Armstong

Synopsis (via Goodreads): Four p.m. spy sessions are the highlight of Mallory Taylor’s day. Observing the boy next door—one with a body and an attitude to match—has her perched beside her window so often it can't be healthy.

When she finally convinces her mom to let her go to public school, Mallory comes face to face with her neighbor, Troy Parker. And he makes it clear he wants nothing to do with her. His rejection awakens a newfound tenacity and maybe even a touch of recklessness. But when Troy starts to show up when she needs him the most, Mallory can’t help but wonder if there’s more to him than he’s let on.

Taking chances, breaking rules, and following her heart is all new to Mallory. And no one warned her just how fickle hearts can be. When she discovers that Troy isn’t at all the guy she imagined him to be, secrets rise to the surface that will change her life forever.

DNF at 22%

I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

This book made me feel icky. Mallory admits to spying on her neighbor from her bedroom window, which is somewhat obvious from the title, but she takes it too far. She has his schedule committed to memory, so she knows precisely when he'll get home, and even when he will take his shirt off (almost to the exact second). She is constantly objectifying him (to herself and her online friend that she's never met in person), which was not okay.

Mallory felt more like an obsessive stalker than a lovesick teenager, and it's even more apparent when she starts school. She's been homeschooled ever since someone tried to kidnap her as a child (what her mother's says since she can't remember), and now she's determined to fight for her independence. Not surprisingly, she knows which school Troy goes to and asks her parents if she can attend there.

If she sees him in the hallway, the parking lot, or in class, the girl cannot function. She loses track of time, stares until it's obvious she's been looking at him for awhile, and cannot focus on anything else that's happening around her. It was beyond creepy, even if you blame her lack of social skills on being homeschooled for most of her life.

Also, she hasn't had the courage to talk to him for five years even though they're neighbors (after some perceived slight over a football), yet she's willing to chase him down hallways to question him about his life choices. She knows absolutely nothing about Troy, but she feels compelled to condemn his illegal late night boxing matches. Mallory even asked to go see him fight (she gets a ride from a random girl at school), just so she could tell him it was a bad idea. However, blood makes her dizzy, so she ends up fainting in his arms and thinks it's a sign from the gods that they're meant to be together.

I think this book sends the wrong messages to teenagers. You shouldn't look at someone like they're an ice cream flavor you're jonesing to try, or memorize their schedule so you can be a peeper. Mallory shouldn't have lost the ability to function just because he was in the same room, especially over a guy that was never nice to her.

⳼

In the Night Wood by Dale Bailey

Synopsis (via Goodreads): In this contemporary fantasy, the grieving biographer of a Victorian fantasist finds himself slipping inexorably into the supernatural world that consumed his subject.

American Charles Hayden came to England to forget the past.

Failed father, failed husband, and failed scholar, Charles hopes to put his life back together with a biography of Caedmon Hollow, the long-dead author of a legendary Victorian children's book, In the Night Wood. But soon after settling into Hollow's remote Yorkshire home, Charles learns that the past isn't dead.

In the neighboring village, Charles meets a woman he might have loved, a child who could have been his own lost daughter, and the ghost of a self he thought he'd put behind him.

And in the primeval forest surrounding Caedmon Hollow's ancestral home, an ancient power is stirring. The horned figure of a long-forgotten king haunts Charles Hayden's dreams. And every morning the fringe of darkling trees presses closer.

Soon enough, Charles will venture into the night wood.

Soon enough he'll learn that the darkness under the trees is but a shadow of the darkness that waits inside us all.

DNF at 6%

I received an ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

Dear In the Night Wood, 

It's not you, it's me.

Best wishes,

Lindsi 

Honestly, the writing style just wasn't my cup of tea. It was hard for me to follow the story, and I felt lost in the language. I have a feeling this book is really beautiful, and I'm simply not equipped to see it. I started this late one night, and decided to pick it up again the next day. However, when I started reading it again, I had absolutely no idea what had happened during the previous pages. I skimmed over several of them, but was completely lost. If this sounds like something you'd like, I suggest giving it a go. Hopefully it works better for you! I really liked the premise, so I'm bummed it didn't work out.

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