This Is Not a Love Scene by S.C. Megale

Lights,camera—allMaeveneedsisaction.Butateighteen,arareformofmusculardystrophyusuallystandsinthewayofromance.She'sgotherfriends,herhumor,andapassionforfilmmakingtokeepherfocusoffconsistentrejection...andthehotolderguystarringinherseniorfilmproject.

Tall,bearded,andalwaysswaying,ColeStoneiseverythingMaevecan'tbe.Andshelikesit.Betweentakes,theirchemistryisshockinglyelectric.

SuddenlyMaevegetsatasteoftypicalteenagedatinglife,butgirlsinwheelchairsdon’tgetthehotguy—right?Cole’sattentionchallengeseverythingsheoncebelievedaboutherself-imageandhopesforlove.Butfiguringthisout,bothemotionallyandphysically,won'tbeeasyforeitherofthem.Maevemustchoosebetweenwhatsheneedsandwhatshewants,whileColehasatendencytoavoiddecisionsaltogether.Andherfailinglungsmightnotwaitforeither.Synopsis (via Goodreads): Lights, camera—all Maeve needs is action. But at eighteen, a rare form of muscular dystrophy usually stands in the way of romance. She's got her friends, her humor, and a passion for filmmaking to keep her focus off consistent rejection...and the hot older guy starring in her senior film project.

Tall, bearded, and always swaying, Cole Stone is everything Maeve can't be. And she likes it. Between takes, their chemistry is shockingly electric.

Suddenly Maeve gets a taste of typical teenage dating life, but girls in wheelchairs don’t get the hot guy—right? Cole’s attention challenges everything she once believed about her self-image and hopes for love. But figuring this out, both emotionally and physically, won't be easy for either of them. Maeve must choose between what she needs and what she wants, while Cole has a tendency to avoid decisions altogether. And her failing lungs might not wait for either.

"Everyone [is] a pool noodle, sinking and thrashing out for another's noodle to stay afloat."

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product. Warning! There are some small spoilers regarding the content of this book, but the information is relevant to the review.

I honestly don't know where to start with this one. I have some major issues with the story, but I can also see what the author was trying to convey, even though I don't agree with how it was presented. Maeve has muscular dystrophy and is confined to a wheelchair, but she tries to be as independent as possible. However, Maeve was not a likeable person. 

First of all, I don't feel like Maeve respected herself or others, and she craved male attention. Even between her parents, she preferred her father's help over her mother's. They seemed to have a better relationship, but I thought she unfairly judged her mother's actions. It was clear her mother cared, just not in the way Maeve wanted. She also sought out older men and made connections with them. She referred to them as her OMFs (Old Male Friends), and would send them flirty messages and touch them in a way that made it seem like she was interested. She got a kick out of making older men smile at her, want her even, when she had no intention of reciprocating those feelings. Also, a lot of these interactions happened before she was eighteen, which makes them highly inappropriate. 

Secondly, Maeve was very sexist. She preferred the attention and help of men over women, and always compared how the two interactions would vary. "IF SHE WERE A GUY: 'Yes, sir. Can you overnight express me to your bed by any chance?' BECAUSE SHE'S NOT: 'I can do it myself, thanks.' She nodded and walked off. I can never tell how standoffish I sound. But it's her fault for not being a guy, right?" She does this the entire book, especially when a female tries to help her in any capacity. She would brush off their good intentions, and think about how a male would have been better or more helpful.

Thirdly, Maeve was a shitty friend. She often comments on how frequently her friend Mags has to turn down male advances, and even admits to being jealous of the attention. It's obvious Mags doesn't like being hit on by random dudes, and it's something that really bothers her. Maeve is oblivious and really insensitive when it comes to her friend's feelings. Mags made a comment about a man creepily rubbing her back, and Maeve just thinks about how much she likes back rubs. 

The love interest was barely a character. Cole would saunter in somewhere, act completely uncomfortable around Maeve, and then he'd leave. He seemed to be more communicative when they sexted, because that's pretty much all they did, and would barely speak when they were together. I'll admit that he was helpful when they played putt-putt, but that was also one of the few times they met without him rubbing one out. Most of their interactions were for the benefit of his penis. I'm all for Maeve exploring her sexuality, and really appreciate sex-positive books, but I wish it had been with someone who actually cared about her. Instead, this douche canoe that can't look at her, jerks off on her wheelchair while his other hand in her pants. He can barely look at her, but he's okay with touching? Maeve was a consenting adult, and she made it clear that she wanted to do these things with him, but the interactions really bothered me. She should have wanted more for herself. She settled for the first person to show her interest, even though his interest was mostly for selfish and sexual reasons. At one point he said, "I don't know how to like you." Seriously? He couldn't even care enough to remember that she had MD or what that meant. 

KC is a random side character. They've supposedly been friends since kindergarten, and no one thought it was weird that they'd never been to his house. He's always shady about where he gets things (costumes, bowling shoes, etc.) and no one really questions it. Suddenly, he confesses feelings for Maeve, and they all learn he's in a dark place. It didn't fit into the rest of the story, and his depression should have been discussed more. Also, once they realized things were bad, they should have involved an adult. 

Speaking of involving an adult, there were a lot of situations where one was needed. Instead, Maeve tries to handle everything on her own, which only made things more complicated. She should have told her parents when her photograph was used without her permission, and she should have told them about KC. I wish Maeve's parents had been way more involved in her life. Yes, they take care of her, but they also drop her off at a park in the middle of the night and tell her to call them when she's ready to go home. They ask very few questions about what she's doing, or who she's doing them with. Yes, Maeve is an adult, but she's still in high school. She also has medical needs that not everyone is equipped to deal with. 

Everything, and I mean everything was a dirty joke or thought to Maeve. Nothing was safe, not even her food. "...sauerkraut with social anxiety and sausages that couldn't quiet get it up." She was crude and careless. There's a difference between letting someone know what you want, and being sexually aggressive. 

I was happy the author wanted to write about a character with MD, and show that she was capable of living her life just like everyone else. Maeve had dreams and goals she wanted to achieve, but she wasn't a nice or likable character. Having a disability didn't mean she could treat people however she wanted, but she took advantage of their kindness and thought the world was happy helping her.

As you can see, I have a lot of issues with This Is Not a Love Scene, and I'm not even going to touch the ending. Yes, sure, it's what Maeve wanted, but ugh. She deserved so much better than that. Cole admitted that he couldn't give her what she wanted (the future part, because he was happy to share his dick in various ways), and she was totally okay with that. I'm not sure Maeve understands what love is, because it definitely wasn't what she had with Cole. 

I think Maeve's character is an insult to women everywhere, and should not be seen as an example to follow.