Breath Like Water by Anna Jarzab

Synopsis (via Goodreads): “Expansive, romantic, and powerful.” —Gayle Forman, #1 New York Times bestselling author of If I Stay and I Have Lost My Way

Susannah Ramos has always loved the water. A swimmer whose early talent made her a world champion, Susannah was poised for greatness in a sport that demands so much of its young. But an inexplicable slowdown has put her dream in jeopardy, and Susannah is fighting to keep her career afloat when two important people enter her life: a new coach with a revolutionary training strategy, and a charming fellow swimmer named Harry Matthews.

As Susannah begins her long and painful climb back to the top, her friendship with Harry blossoms into passionate and supportive love. But Harry is facing challenges of his own, and even as their bond draws them closer together, other forces work to tear them apart. As she struggles to balance her needs with those of the people who matter most to her, Susannah will learn the cost—and the beauty—of trying to achieve something extraordinary.

"The best way I’ve come up with to describe how Harry kisses is that he does it with joy."

I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. My thoughts and opinions are my own. Any quotes I use are from an unpublished copy and may not reflect the finished product.

Breath Like Water wasn't the story I was expecting, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Susannah was a wonderful character that I could easily relate to, and her determination was enviable. She struggled to make time for the important things in her life, but failed to sometimes see what was right in front of her face. She was so focused on her swimming, and making it to the Olympics, that she let other relationships and responsibilities slide.

Susannah was a selfish character, but not in an obnoxious way. She was dedicated to her dream, despite the many setbacks and obstacles she had to overcome. Winning a medal once doesn't guarantee it will happen again, and her body's normal changes have made her feel heavy in the water. She's unaccustomed to maneuvering her new shape in an effective way, and struggles to swim the times needed for success. However, Susannah still pushes herself every practice. She doesn't quit or give up, and she takes all of the crap her coach throws at her because she wants to be better. She believes her condescending, hurtful, rude, and general ass of a coach is what she needs to succeed.

I really hated how much Susannah tolerated from her coach, and really wanted to punch him in the throat. No one disagrees with him, because he "trains champions," and they all want to make it to the Olympics. His methods are traditional, and not suited for everyone on the team, and he only pays attention to the people he thinks stand a chance. When Beth comes into the picture as an assistant coach, Susannah is hesitant at first, but soon realizes that Beth has more to offer than she first thought. She's compassionate and understanding, molds workouts that are suited to Susannah and her teammates on an individual level, and she doesn't curse at them or throw temper tantrums.

Dave went out of his way to be hurtful, and to make the team feel like they were worthless without him. He made them swim against each other, forced them to work tirelessly, and even stuck his nose in their relationships with they didn't suit him. It was horrible, and I hate that he was able to get away with so much. Yes, he shared a kind word with Susannah here and there, but his sole focus was himself. He wanted to look good, and he wanted people to think he was important. HATED. HIM.

Susannah wasn't perfect–not by a longshot–and her stubbornness wasn't always endearing. Oftentimes it was annoying and irritating, because she pushed people away for no reason at all. She ignored family and friends in pursuit of her dream, and blamed them when things didn't go her way. She was quick to apologize and make amends, but you can't always undo the damage words alone can cause, which brings me to Harry. 

Easy-going, fun-loving Harry was one of the highlights for me, and I adored him from the start. His grand gestures and enthusiasm were contagious, and he never failed to make me smile. He makes his feelings known from the beginning, and is patient while Susannah figures out what she wants from their relationship. Eventually, he tells her they need to define what they have, because hanging out in limbo was hurting him. Thankfully, Susannah decides to give in to her romantic feelings, but while their relationship was a whirlwind of fun and new love, it was also filled with strife. They are both dealing with personal struggles, which I won't get into here, but that largely affects their relationship. I will say that this book addresses bipolar disorder, and the impact it can have on people's lives.

I thought the author handled the effects of being bipolar with skill and compassion. Jarzab explains it in a way that is thorough and understandable, without making me feel like she was info-dumping. The facts and revelations happened naturally, and in a manner that conveyed its complexities without making it a focal point of the story. It was a prominent part of a character's life, but it didn't define them. It was simply a part of them, like their hair color, or shoe size. I really loved the way it was addressed and that it wasn't over-simplified for the sake of the story.

There is a large family focus, which I also loved. Both of the main characters have parents that really care about them, and want what's best for their children. Susannah's parents have sacrificed over the years to make her dreams a reality, but they don't begrudge the money or time spent on their daughter (or having to wake up before dawn nearly every morning to take her to practice). They were supportive, but also quick to point out when she wasn't being kind, or failed to notice what was happening around her. Harry's parents are also supportive and understanding, and clearly wanted the world for their son.

Somehow the author made the relationship between Susannah and Harry feel like it was an insta-love, but also a slow-burn romance. Susannah knows what she feels for Harry, but isn't sure she wants to act on those feelings. Harry has been clear about what he wants from the start, but he patiently follows Susannah's lead and lets her decide how much she's willing to give. Again, she's a little selfish here (wanting his affection, but not willing to allow herself to be distracted), and I hated that it felt like she was stringing him along for a while.

Finally, if you're looking for a sweet HEA, that's not what this is. Their road is a hard one, and it will definitely make your heart hurt, but you'll also understand what they're going through and want what's best for everyone. It's complicated doesn't even begin to describe what this book is, but it's messy in some of the best ways. I was so invested in their lives, and really wanted them both to be happy and successful. Breath Like Water will break your heart, make you feel a wide range of emotions, but ultimately satisfy you in the end. Susannah and Harry might live in a world full of uncertainty, but there was always hope. (★★★★☆)

𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋

About the author:

Anna Jarzab is a Midwesterner turned New Yorker. She lives and works in New York City and is the author of such books as Red Dirt, All Unquiet Things, The Opposite of Hallelujah, and the Many-Worlds series. Visit her online at annajarzab.com and on Twitter, @ajarzab.

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